I didn't want to be someone, I wanted to be everything.
Everything I am. Every road that opened and fitted to who I was, I entered. In every door I walked in, there was something to be learnt. I worked hard, but only out of love and satisfaction, and as soon as my inner voice tortured me for change, I moved on to the next door. Would that make one jealous? Honestly, it would, and for a good reason. It is extremely fun and exciting to live life this way. But, you don't realize this when you walk through that path, only when I look back.
Choosing something new every time is, to say the least, not simple. I have always found excuses for my choices. I was unable to say to people "I am doing this because this is what makes me really happy", because I didn't understand it myself at that time. It was difficult for me to accept that I'm different in my choices and my desires; that I don't know what I want to be. I still don't know.
Only after I became 40, I received legitimating, by those around me, and mostly by myself, to my way of living and to the choices I make. I realized and accepted that the changes I make are the essence of my existence – My desire to be who I am, finally relaxed on the metaphorical hammock of ripe full age. The sad thing is that, that realization and acceptance had arrived after so many moments of frustration in my twenties and my early thirties.
All through the way, I was accompanied by angles that came to learn. They were pupils who gathered around me many years before I decided to turn my essence into a business. They came to me, without knowing, a moment before their big change, a moment before making a choice that will influence the rest of their life. They stood before me, confused, just like the teenagers that I guide in my professional life.
They just showed up out of nowhere. Every decade entered my life a new group: Smart, kind, intelligent and beautiful people. They taught me the new decade and I taught them the history of the old decades. They gave me a new perspective to life insights, and I guided them learning life perspective. They taught me new dreams, and I taught them how to dream. Some of them have moved on, kept walking through their path, and we maintain our loving relationship with the distance of time. Some have stayed and became a part of the colorful family I created for myself.
Many of them didn't know what they want to be. Just like me, they felt frustrated for their confusion, for their difficulty to choose what to be and to do. They were a lot of things, not just one. Some of them, the lucky ones, that were born into their path, learning to fight and not to give up on their goals. Some still don't know what to be, and are walking through various paths which give them satisfaction, even though their journey is difficult and some of the time, not so rewarding.
Through those encounters, I have learnt that many young people are afraid to choose. Afraid to start a path that may not be right for them; that maybe their dreams are too big or just plain wrong. They are afraid to make a mistake, or to let down their parents, who have invested in them and who drive them for success and self-fulfillment. And some are afraid to walk the same paths as their parents and ending up like them.
They reach an age, which just a few years ago seemed to them old, strong and knowing, and all of a sudden here they are – At that age. They don't understand why they don't feel sure and knowing as that guide, that teacher, whom they looked up to. No one teaches them that everybody is unsure, that nobody really knows and everyone gets confused. They don't realize that even that fierce and self assured guide, or that young and energetic teacher, disguised what they feel and prayed hard not to screw up and get it wrong.
As I worked with disadvantaged youth and look for creative ways to turn every child's life into a world in which he can make a choice, the young people who surrounded me were the mirror to my solution: Young people, in their twenties and early thirties, those who have seemed to be at the end of their puberty just a minute ago. Those who felt with great pressure the ticking of the clock which meant the beginning of their adult life. All of those young people I found to be still searching and confused, not less and maybe even more then the young adults.
And then a new dream was dreamt, piece by piece, and became a desire….
To provide an answer to all of those young people who want to be everything and not just one thing. The creative, the colorful, the artistic ones, who want to perform on stage, or express their thought. Those with talent, hidden and revealed, who receive little appreciation to their making. Those young people who understand the importance of human connection and relationship, which had became blunt, as the realty becomes rapidly more and more virtual.
To set up a place for those young people, a place to be confused in the right way; A place where they can live, develop and create; A place to become more professional and find their way; A place where their role would be being a significant adult for the young adults who will come in, not to get accommodation, but to receive tools which will help them survive the reality of their lives. To create with them things that will touch the hidden places of the soul, to expose them to a variety of choices, to believe in them and guide them, to be there with them and for them, without judging, without replacing the home which they came from; But to add wellbeing to the wellbeing which already exist, and to create a happiness and a smile which will replace, for a short time, and maybe even for long time, the moments of hardship, confusion and fear; To teach them to dream and to give them the tools to choose wisely; A community which works and creates together; A place in which one learns to become a significant adult, who in turn invest in the young adults; A generation raising a generation'; A generation teaching the secret of meaning and the importance of human connection to the next generation. A place they can develop for a few years, and then make the way for newcomers.
This dream, just like any other dream of creation, is possible. It is only a matter of time, resources, and Providence. Meanwhile, I still guide them, and they in turn guide me. No matter what they choose to be, as long as they are not afraid to choose what is right for them. They, like all of us, are entitled to this time of confusion and searching without feeling frustrated. They deserve to feel the way and to enjoy it, and not just when looking back…